Not Over You
by SheeWolf85
Summary: Five years after their breakup, Nessie and Jacob meet at a friend's wedding. She's engaged, but can Jacob win her heart back before it's too late? AU/AH. J/N. O/S. Rated M for language and sexual content.


A/N: Sometimes it's nice to have a change of pace, right? Needed a quick break from GMAS. Thanks to ReneeFF for the wonderful prompt she gave me and for introducing me to the song Not Over You by Gavin DeGraw which supplied the title. Thanks also to Adele, The Script, and Rihanna for musical inspiration.

Beware the rating. It is M for a reason. I own nothing. Enjoy!

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><p><em><strong>Not Over You<strong>_

"You look beautiful; stop fidgeting."

Nessie scowled at Bella, her best friend and soon-to-be sister-in-law. "I'm not fidgeting. You worry about you, and I'll take care of me." She couldn't help but straighten Bella's veil. The delicate, white lace looked so pretty on her friend. It was only minutes before Nessie would take her place and Bella would walk down the aisle. She was excited for her friend and looked down at her own diamond.

The door to the dressing room opened, and Bella's mother walked in. "They're ready for you, Nessie."

Nessie smiled and quickly blew Bella a kiss before she walked out. As maid of honor, she took her place closest to the altar. All of the guests had taken their seats, and she scanned the audience for her fiancé. Tucker sat in the front row next to his parents and younger brother. She snuck a small wave at him and smiled when he winked at her. She found Bella's brother and cousins in the seats, then her gaze fell on a face she hadn't seen in years. His eyes were on her, and she felt a strange mix of fire and ice run through her when he smiled. No one had told her he'd be here.

He looked exactly the same from what she could see. Shaggy black hair that seemed to do whatever it wanted, dark tan skin, thick eyebrows over piercing black eyes, full lips parted slightly to show brilliant white teeth. He was still gorgeous.

Nessie sucked in a deep breath and looked away. She couldn't even believe herself. She'd gotten over him a long time ago, and yet she still wanted to stare at him. Instead, she looked at Tucker. Short, dirty blond hair gelled in sophisticated spikes, a perfectly groomed goatee, pale skin like her own, and beautiful sea-blue eyes smiled back at her. Tucker was the man she loved. She'd been in love with him for a year and a half and agreed to marry him only two months ago. She glanced down at her ring. It would give her strength. Even as she told herself this, she remembered Jacob's hands and lips. It had been nearly five years ago that they split up, and yet she could still recall the way he turned her on with a single look.

The door at the back of the chapel opened, and Nessie was relieved to have something else to focus on. Eddie Cullen, Nessie's brother, made his way to the altar and took a deep breath. It was another two minutes before Bella and her father began their walk. Nessie found her eyes betraying her, straying to the spot where Jacob sat still staring at her. She was determined to keep her focus on Bella.

~*~NOY~*~

Nobody had told Jacob that Nessie was going to be standing in front of everyone. They also hadn't told him she'd only gotten more beautiful. He'd come to the wedding because his cousin's wife was the bride's cousin and had nagged him until he agreed to at least show up.

The moment she walked out, his jaw nearly hit the floor. She'd always been a sexy woman, but standing there with her long, strawberry red hair, freckles, bright green eyes, and low-cut blue dress that showed off her figure, he couldn't tear his eyes away. He noticed her look at her hand a few times, and his heart sank when he saw a rock the size of Canada on her left ring finger. Of course someone had snagged her. He was the stupid asshole to let her go all of five years ago. He had no right to be upset. Yet, he was upset. He was mad at himself and his dumbass pride that kept him from admitting the mistake he'd made.

Throughout the ceremony, he kept his eyes on her. She kept smiling at some douchebag in the front row, and he couldn't help but wonder if it was her . . . fiancé. He had a hard time thinking the word. There had been a time, before they fell apart, that he had thought about putting a ring on her. Instead, he kept quiet about how he felt and let their relationship crumble out from under him.

She looked happy, at least. He tried to remember the last time he saw her done up like that. It had been Christmas the year before everything turned to shit.

Jacob hadn't been planning on staying for the reception, but he couldn't pass up the opportunity to talk to her. Now that he'd seen her, he couldn't leave it at that. He had to hear from her that all her dreams were coming true. He clapped with everyone else as the bride and groom went back down the aisle. He honestly couldn't remember a word that had been spoken. All he knew was Nessie hadn't looked at him again.

~*~NOY~*~

Nessie could feel him in the room. She held Tucker's hand harder and smiled at him. Her heels made her taller than usual, but he still had a few inches on her. She hated herself when she remembered how, even in her tallest shoes, her head didn't get above Jacob's shoulder. To get her mind off of it, she leaned forward and gave her fiancé a quick kiss. He smiled his dazzling smile and mouthed "I love you." She squeezed his fingers again and turned her attention back to the newly-married couple sharing their first dance.

When the song was over, everyone else joined in. Tucker raised Nessie's hand and kissed her knuckles.

"May I have this dance?" he asked with a smirk.

She smiled and nodded. "Yes, you may."

He led her out on the dance floor with the other couples and pulled her close to him. "Have you had a good time?"

She placed her hands on his shoulders so she could have a clear view of her engagement ring. "Yes, I have. I'm so happy for Eddie and Bella. Have you?"

"Yes. Do you want something like this for our wedding?"

Her first thought was to say no. She didn't want a huge affair. She wanted a small, intimate ceremony with only her closest friends. She knew Tucker would have to show off just a little, though. She shrugged. "I don't know. It's very beautiful. I think whatever we do have, though, will be perfect."

Tucker quirked his lips. "You really don't know what you want?"

It sounded strange even to her. Most women knew exactly what they wanted and how to get it when it came to that kind of thing. She was mostly afraid of disappointing Tucker. Romantic fit him to a T, but small and simple didn't. He was like a peacock sometimes; he had to strut and show off his feathers. Her ring was a testament to that. The diamond was almost too big for her taste, but Tucker had to get something better than Bella's. Nessie had only tried to ask him how much it cost once, and he just told her it didn't matter because he had plenty of money and she was worth it all.

"Well, it is at least a few months away, right? We have time to plan and get things perfect."

He frowned just a little. He had wanted to get married right away, but Nessie insisted on having some time to plan. She wasn't sure why. The thought of getting married right away, though, frightened her. He had agreed easily, and their wedding date was set for five months away. "You're right. We can get a few ideas and use them if we want."

She nuzzled her nose against his. "That's the spirit. I love you."

They danced through two songs. Just as Tucker was leaning forward to kiss Nessie, someone tapped him on the shoulder. They both looked over, and Nessie felt a pit open in her stomach.

"Can I cut in?" Jacob asked.

Nessie licked her lips and tried to take a deep breath. The scent of his cologne filled her nostrils and nearly overpowered her. He still smelled like fire and passion and earth. She wasn't sure if she wanted Tucker to agree or take her away.

"Sure." Tucker kissed her quickly. "Just one song, though."

Jacob smirked and nodded. "Sure, sure." It sounded more like he wouldn't ever bring her back.

Nessie smiled at her fiancé before she turned to Jacob. She had to look up to see his face. His black eyes stared at her as his huge hands found her waist.

"Hi, Nessie," he said softly. His voice still made her knees weak. What the hell was wrong with her? She loved Tucker now.

She cleared her throat. "Hi, Jacob." Dancing with him was as easy as it had ever been. His movements were fluid and graceful, contrasting with his size. "How are you?"

He shrugged. "Not awful." That was a lie. His cousin had filled him in on who everyone was, including Ness' fiancé. He didn't like the competition. "You?"

"I'm doing well. I'm engaged now." She blurted the words, not sure if she wanted to tell him the good news or remind herself.

Jacob nodded. "So I heard. I guess I'm supposed to congratulate you."

She furrowed her brow at the condescending tone in his voice. "Yeah, that would be nice."

His hands tightened on her waist. "I can't. He's a douchebag."

Nessie tried to push away from him, but he wouldn't let her. Just like before, he was too strong for her. "He is a very nice man who loves me very much. If you're going to talk about him like that, you can leave."

He clicked his tongue and shook his head. "You can't make me leave, Ness. Not your shindig, remember?"

"So did you ask to dance with me so you could be an asshole?" How had she remembered anything good about this man? There was a reason she wasn't with him anymore. He'd broken her heart more than any other man had. She wasn't sure why it hurt now to see that part of him hadn't changed either. It felt like a tiny part of her heart broke again. She hated that he still had that much power over her.

Jacob took a deep breath. He had to remember that he couldn't take his frustrations out on her. She'd done nothing wrong; there was no reason for him to be so rude to her. "No. I'm sorry. I just wanted to say hi."

She sniffled and tried to deny that he'd made her cry again. "You said hi. Can I go back to my _fiancé_ now?"

"Please, Nessie? I said I'm sorry. Give me another chance?"

She couldn't believe how quickly her defenses crumbled. She'd only end up hurt again, and she knew it. She still didn't have the power to say no. "One more. I swear, Jacob, if you're going to be like this, I don't want to talk to you anymore."

Her words hurt. He had to mellow the fuck out and try to at least get her to trust him. "Would it help if I apologized again?"

She shrugged. "Maybe." He rarely apologized for anything. Hearing it felt good for a reason she couldn't define.

He hooked his fingers under her chin and made her look up at him. He stared into her green eyes for a few seconds. The unshed tears there only made the color brighter and the cracks in his heart deepen. "I really am sorry, Nessie. I swear I didn't come here to hurt you."

For a brief moment, she saw the man she used to love. She saw the soft side she fell in love with to begin with, and she just wanted to hug him. She glanced at her hand and the diamond that sat on her finger. She remembered the way Jacob would envelop her when he held her. She had once felt so safe and secure in his embrace. Tucker's arms offered merely a shadow of the comfort Jacob's had. That time had passed, though. That comfort was gone. There was no use opening herself to something long since over. She sighed and smiled at Jacob.

"I believe you. Your song is almost over."

"One more?" He couldn't let her go now.

"He is my fiancé, Jake. I need to get back to him." And she was a little afraid of what this much time with her former lover would do to her.

"Why? Are you on a leash now?" He told himself to stop. Saying these things would only hurt them both. "You can't disobey your master?"

Nessie pushed on Jacob's chest. "Let me go. Just leave me alone." She had known he'd only hurt her again. How could she allow herself to trust anything he said?

"Nessie, I'm—"

"Jacob, you listen to me. I'm done. I don't even know why you asked me to dance with you. I should have said no. Let me go, and I don't want to see your face or hear your voice ever again."

He let go of her waist, defeated. She walked away from him, back to the man he despised for no other reason than the rock on Nessie's hand. He sighed and turned around to leave.

~*~NOY~*~

"Are you okay, Nessie?" Tucker asked later that night as they ate dinner together.

Nessie nodded. "Yeah, I think so." She couldn't stop thinking about Jacob. She still wasn't sure why his insults hurt worse than anyone else's. Even the few times she and Tucker fought, he couldn't cut her as deeply as Jacob could. He knew her soft spots and just how to aim each biting comment.

"Baby, don't hide from me. What's the matter?" He put his hand over hers and smiled encouragingly.

She met her fiancé's blue eyes and knew she could trust him. He wouldn't stomp on it. "That man that asked me to dance with him at the reception," she started. Tucker nodded. "That was Jacob. My ex."

He nodded again. "Did he say something that upset you?"

Did he ever . . . "Yeah. He just . . . he knows how to get under my skin. It's stupid stuff, too; stuff that shouldn't even bother me at all."

Tucker looked at her for a few minutes. He saw something in her he hadn't ever seen before. He loved her and knew she loved him, too, but he saw the feelings she still had for this Jacob. He sighed and tried to smile. "I'm sorry he hurt you."

She shrugged. "It's not your fault, baby. I hadn't seen him in years, and I guess I didn't expect him to be such an asshole."

He squeezed her fingers. "Will you stay with me tonight, Ness?" They still had their own places and would live separately until they were married. He had tried to get her to live with him, but she said she wanted to keep that little bit of tradition. It didn't mean they couldn't have a night together every now and then.

She smiled and nodded. "Yes; I'd like that." She hoped a night of good sex with her fiancé would help her get her mind off her unexpected heartache.

~*~NOY~*~

It had been a week since Bella and Eddie's wedding. A week since she saw Jacob, but her heart still hurt from the wounds he'd inflicted. It seemed seeing him ignited memories she had thought were buried and forgotten. Every time she'd been with Tucker, she remembered how Jacob's hands had touched her. She remembered how he'd gotten rough with her and made her beg for more. Tucker was always gentle with her. He knew how to bring her to an orgasm, but not one of them had ever come close to the explosive desire Jacob seemed to evoke within her.

She sat at home alone the night after seeing her brother and sister-in-law off for their honeymoon and let herself get consumed by memories. She hoped that if she let herself remember all the good times, the bad ones would follow and she'd realize why she got over him in the first place. She couldn't keep going like this, torn into pieces by mere comments, no matter how piercing, from a man who shouldn't matter to her anymore.

It was nine o'clock when her tears were interrupted by a knock at the door. She wiped her nose with the tissue in her hand and got up. She took a few deep breaths and tried to make sure she looked presentable before she opened the door. Her mouth fell open when she saw Jacob there, wet from the light rain and staring at her with a desperate gleam in his eyes.

She wanted to be angry. She wanted to tell him to go away and never come back. Instead, she felt herself take a step back and let him in.

"Hi, Ness. Listen, I know you said you didn't want to see me again, but I had to see you. Is, uh . . . is your fiancé here?"

She shook her head. "No, Tucker's not here. We don't . . . we don't live together yet."

"Yeah, that's what Alice said. She gave me your address. Can we talk? Please?" He shut and locked the door behind him.

Nessie sniffled and let herself really look at him. He'd dressed in faded jeans and a huge black hoodie that was even big on him. It was wet like his hair, but somehow it just made him look more appealing. She loved the way his hair looked when he was wet. It flattened against his head and nearly fell into his eyes. It was adorable. She mentally shook herself.

"What do you want?"

Jacob knew he had one shot to convince her. He put his hands on her shoulders and met her eyes. Hers were wet, and he wondered why. "I'm sorry. I was an asshole at the wedding, and you didn't deserve anything I said. I fucked up. Really bad."

She wanted to pull away from him, but she couldn't get the thought of his past comfort out of her mind. She wanted it again. Just one hug. It wouldn't hurt anyone. While her brain screamed that she was making a mistake, she let herself push forward and wrap her arms around his waist. He exhaled a deep breath and hugged her back. It wasn't what she wanted it to be, but it was a start. She still felt that same sensation of being protected.

"You hurt me, Jake," she confessed. "I haven't seen you in five years, and you show up only to talk bad about the man I love now and all but call me a dog. I'm not . . ." She couldn't even finish. Those words still felt like a knife in her heart.

"I know I hurt you, Ness. All I can say is I'm sorry." He was surprised that she let him hold her. Now that he had this, though, he wasn't letting go. He tightened his arms around her. "I really am. You have every right to be happy. Are you happy?"

Nessie wasn't sure what to say. She had been happy before he showed back up and destroyed the wall she'd put up to block out memories and thoughts of what she once thought was the kind of true love fairy tales talked about. She remembered every moment of passion they had shared. It made the love she had with Tucker seem unworthy of the name. She knew she did love her fiancé, though. He made her happy. Instead of dwelling on the growing sense of deliverance Jacob's hug ignited in her, she nodded.

"Yes. I'm very happy." She didn't try to pull away. She couldn't.

"Can you forgive me, Ness? We could still be friends." He didn't want to be friends. He wanted to rip that rock off her finger and throw it out the window.

Against her better judgment, she nodded. "I forgive you, Jake." _Why_, her brain screamed. He didn't deserve to be forgiven. Hadn't she made her own mistakes, though? She regretted so much from five years ago, and she'd never had the chance to apologize before he walked away from her.

"Thank you, Nessie. I promise I will do my best to behave."

She smiled and took a deep breath before she finally pulled back. His arms fell away from her, leaving her cold. "Me, too."

They stood there in the living room silently staring at each other. Neither was sure how to proceed. Jacob wanted to kiss her, but he knew he had no right. Nessie wanted to somehow break the ice, but nothing sounded right in her head. What do you say to your ex-boyfriend you haven't seen in five years? She looked down at her ring and straightened it as she tried to think of something appropriate.

"That's quite a ring," Jacob said. "It's, uh . . . big."

Nessie smirked and looked up at him. "Yeah, it is."

"So when's the big day?" Did he really want to know?

She licked her lips. "October fifteenth."

He felt like he'd just had a death sentence laid on him. Five months left to live. "That soon?"

"Well, we've been together for a year and a half. He proposed two months ago." She wasn't sure what to think of the look in Jacob's eyes. She didn't like knowing there was a possibility that he still cared for her.

Jacob raised his eyebrows. "Wow. A year and a half? That's . . . well, I mean we were togehter for years."

Nessie just nodded. "Like they say: Not every relationship is the same. That's a good thing, though, right?"

He wasn't sure what she meant by that comment, but he did know she was grateful Tucker wasn't like him. "Yeah, I guess." He paused and stared at his feet for a moment. "So what are you doing tonight?"

She wouldn't admit she was trying to get over him again. "Nothing much. Just lounging, I guess." Should she invite him to stay for a while? She wanted to, but at the same time, she knew it could only end in disaster.

"Mind if I lounge with you? We have a lot to catch up on." He had to know everything about her life while they were apart.

Maybe this was a better way to get over him. She'd talk to him and realize that Tucker was the better choice. "Yeah, we do." She took an uneasy breath and pushed her fears away. "Are you hungry? Or thirsty?"

He shrugged. "No, not really."

She led him to the couch and sat down, tucking her legs under her. He sat next to her and pulled his hoodie off. She couldn't tear her eyes off him. Even doing simple things, he still did it in a way that could captivate the most cynical audience. Underneath, he had on a white t-shirt with a cartoon on the front. He sat back and extended his arms across the back of the couch. Nessie couldn't help but reach out to straighten it. She laughed at the stick-figure man on fire and the warning that he'd tried it at home. "I like that."

Jacob chuckled. "Yeah. So how have you been?" He watched her face carefully as she answered.

"I've been well. Just working, getting ready for Eddie's wedding, I guess."

"Yeah? That's good. You still at that bookstore?"

She nodded. "I'm manager now, though. Tucker said I don't have to work after we get married if I don't want to, but I think I might just to have something to do."

"Did you ever go back to school like you wanted to?" She had talked about it so many times when they were together.

"No. I kind of tried, though. I got all the finance paperwork filled out and got registered at the community college, but somehow I never actually signed up for any classes. I'm not sure what happened." It still confused her. She got depressed, and it took her a while to get out of it enough to have a social life again.

"Have you thought about doing that after you get married?" Jacob didn't like saying those words. _After you get married_. They felt dirty to him.

She honestly hadn't thought about school since she met Tucker. "No. I guess I could, though." It would get her on the right track to do what she really wanted to do. "What about you, Jake? How have you been?"

"Been surviving, I guess. Still at NCP. I'm on days now, though, working four tens."

Nessie had always been interested in Jacob's work as a rifle machinist. As threatening as it had once sounded to her, she knew he was harmless. He wasn't an enthusiast and only had a Ruger. "Any interesting guns lately?"

"About two years ago, they came out with this rifle called the Big Bear. It's fucking huge; forty-five inches long." He held his arms out to show her. "Accuracy was over 250 yards."

Nessie raised her eyebrows. "That's two football fields, right?"

"A little over, yeah. Powerful fucker. I got to shoot it a few times, too. That was fun. Got to see a buffalo fly." He chuckled.

"That's terrible, Jake. Why are you shooting animals?"

"Oh, no. I didn't shoot it. One of the guys I work with did. And it wasn't a real buffalo; it was a wooden target."

Nessie sat back feeling silly after thinking Jake would really do something like that. "Oh. So what else is new? Do you have a girlfriend?"

He shook his head. "No. I tried dating a little bit, but, uh . . . haven't found anyone else yet." No one was Nessie, so of course no one lasted more than a night. Maybe two if she was a really good fuck.

She reached up and patted his hand that was next to her shoulder on the couch. "You'll find someone, Jake. Don't give up."

He couldn't stop the next words before they fell out of his mouth. "I had someone, Ness." He met her eyes, the look in his telling her exactly what he was saying.

Nessie furrowed her eyebrows. Her heart constricted at the implications of what he meant. "I'm engaged."

"I know. I'm not saying anything about that; I'm just saying I had you."

"And now you don't. You can't tell me you still haven't moved on." It took her over a year, but she did it. Or so she thought.

"Yeah, I can." He lifted his hands in front of him, palms out in a gesture of submission. "Don't get me wrong, Ness. You're engaged—off limits. I get that. But I still love you." It hurt to admit that to her, but he knew he would never forgive himself if he didn't take the opportunity to tell her when he had the chance.

She felt like she'd been kicked in the gut. She wasn't sure if she was more surprised by the rush of panic or the sudden, fiery anger. She stood up, confused by conflicting desires to hide and to fight. Her heart was pounding against her chest as he stood up with her.

"You can't say that, Jake. You need to leave." She didn't want him to. Her aching heart wanted him to hold her and show her the passion they had discovered before, but her head told her this was all just a trick. He was famous for his mind games, and that's all this was.

Jacob saw the struggle under the façade she threw up in an attempt to protect herself. He saw her panic and wanted to soothe it away. It alone was proof enough that she still felt something for him. Whether it was enough to grant him a foot in the door, he didn't know. He had to try, though. Try or forever wonder what could have happened.

"Nessie, please listen to me." He kept his voice soft and even. "I'm not trying to get anything from you, okay? I just need you to know how I feel."

"Why now?" she demanded. "Five goddamn years later when I'm engaged! It's way too late. I can't . . . I love Tucker. I love him, Jacob; do you not understand that?"

"I was too fucking stupid to let my pride go long enough to call you or come see you. After seeing you the other day . . . Dammit, Ness, I know it's too late. I know I fucked up. I don't expect you to want me back. My chance is gone; I get that. I had to tell you for me—my own peace of mind. Just so you knew."

Everything inside her screamed at him for destroying her peace. "I was happy. I was very happy. Why did you ask me to dance? Why did you even show up tonight? Just to say you were sorry and shake up my whole fucking world?" She covered her face with her hands and realized she was never going to get over him. Knowing that he loved her only fueled the memories of how happy she had been with him. She felt his arms encircle her and tried to fight back. She couldn't even convince herself that she wanted escape. Her determination faltered when he kissed the top of her head and pulled her flush against him.

"I'm sorry, Nessie," he whispered. He kissed her hair again and took a deep breath. "Look me in the eyes and tell me you honestly don't want me to stick around, and I'll leave." He prayed to God she couldn't.

Nessie tried to harden her heart. She tried to remember the way he'd hurt her at the wedding and all the things he'd said to her in the two months before their official breakup. He knew how to hurt her. But, God, he knew how to love her. She looked up at him, tears marking her cheeks, and shook her head. "I don't want you to leave." What was she saying? She couldn't love him—she was going to marry Tucker! But she couldn't make him leave, either.

Before he could talk himself out of it, he leaned his head down and kissed her lips. It was meant to be a quick peck; just something to get him by. She sucked in a breath and froze, and he couldn't pull away. Their lips still fit together like they'd been made to kiss each other. The sudden insecurity melted away for Jacob, and he pressed himself closer to her. His hands held her tighter, one between her shoulder blades and one on the back of her neck. She tried to tell herself to slap him. Make him stop this. But she couldn't. The fire ignited in her by his unexpected kiss unleashed more memories and desires. She raised her hands, but instead of pushing him back, she grabbed the shoulders of his shirt and pulled him even closer. She closed her eyes so she wouldn't have to look at the ring and opened her mouth.

It started out soft and tentative. Neither was sure if what they were doing was the right thing. At the same time, they both knew without any doubts that it was what they wanted. As the initial awkward moments of uncertainty faded, the kiss was deepened and desperation took the place of doubt. His arms tightened around her, and she stood on her toes to be closer to his height.

In a sudden burst of clarity, Nessie realized what she was doing. A rush of panic gave her the strength to break the kiss and push back. Jacob didn't fight her. He let her go and licked his lips. Her taste lingered there.

"What the hell was that?" she asked. She wanted to blame him entirely, but that wasn't fair.

He shrugged and took a small step back. "I don't know. I can't say I'm sorry, though. I'm not." What he got was so much more than what he had expected.

She nodded. "I know. You should go, though." She would stand her ground this time, she told herself. She would be tough.

He nodded and turned to pick up his hoodie. "Yeah, I guess." Dammit, he didn't want to. That kiss, whether she wanted to admit it or not, was proof that she still loved him, too. He didn't doubt that she loved Tucker, but her feelings for him ran deep. He hesitated a few seconds. "Ness?"

She didn't want to respond, but she found she was too eager to hear what he had to say. "Yeah?"

He licked his lips again and took a deep breath. "You really want me to leave?"

Yes, of course she wanted him to leave. She wanted him gone so she could make herself feel bad for what happened. Another answer bubbled out of her before she had a chance to stop it. "No. Jake, I . . ." She refused to say it.

He waited for her to finish. When she didn't, he took a step closer. "You what?" She shook her head and tried to turn away, but he caught her. He bent enough to kiss her forehead then made her look at him. "What is it, Nessie?"

Tears filled her eyes again. "I still love you, too." It was only a whisper, but she knew he heard her. He smiled, huge and filled with joy, and it made her feel just a little bit better. She was still so confused. She clenched her left fist to feel the ring there. The significance of it burned against her flesh even as she reached out for Jake with her right hand.

He took her hand and pulled her close to him. Without stopping to ask permission, he dropped his hoodie and grabbed her up in a frantic kiss. She met his fervor, throwing her arms around his neck and immediately opening herself to him. His hands moved roughly down her back to her hips. He lifted her roughly and pressed her back against the wall. She gasped and broke the kiss in a moment of panic. It had been a long time since anyone had picked her off her feet like that; as if she weighed nothing at all. It only lasted a fraction of a second before her passion returned. She wrapped her legs around his waist and devoured his mouth.

Jacob pulled her away from the wall and broke the kiss. "Where's your room?" he asked. He needed her, and he was going to get as much as she'd let him have.

He carried her and kicked the bedroom door shut behind him. Nessie told herself not to allow this, but no amount of logic could even hold a candle to her desire. After kicking his shoes off, he all but fell on top of her on the bed and continued their kiss. His body pressed down on hers, holding her under him as they ground against each other. Before she could stop herself, she pulled up on his shirt. It started a frenzy, and they worked together to get rid of every scrap of clothing.

"Let me fuck you, Ness," Jacob growled.

"I'm engaged," she said pathetically. As if that would really take back the last twenty minutes and make everything right again. She even held up her hand to show him the diamond again.

Jacob frowned. He took her hand and slipped the ring off. As much as he wanted to throw it somewhere, he placed it gently on the nightstand. "Not tonight, you're not. I want to fuck you."

His conviction turned her on even more. Through the growing pit of guilt in her gut, she wanted to give him permission. As she hesitated on an answer, he reached between them and thrust a finger inside her. She gasped and met his eyes. He stared at her as he added another and touched her roughly, keeping eye contact until she finally closed her eyes and whimpered loudly. The memory of his touch had nothing on the real thing.

"You gonna let me fuck you, Ness?" he asked. He bent and kissed her cheek, trailing his lips to her ear. "You can't cum until you answer me."

His dominance had the same affect on her as it always had. She cried out and arched her back. Even after all those years, he hadn't forgotten how to work her body. She had no doubt that he could keep her on the brink as long as he desired. He bit and sucked on her neck as she writhed under him. She purposely kept her answer to herself until the sweet torture was too much. Finally she cried out.

"Yes, Jake. Fuck me, please?"

He chuckled and kissed her nipple. "That's my girl." Her back arched as he gave her what she needed. She was shaking from her violent release as he pushed her legs further apart and positioned himself. "I really do love you, Nessie. I was an idiot and kept it hidden when I had the chance to really make you happy."

Now that they were here, she just wanted to feel him inside her again. She reached down and took hold of his erection. "Shut up and fuck me."

He smirked and leaned down to kiss. "Don't tell me to shut up, Ness. You'll get it when I'm damn good and ready to give it to you." He took hold of her wrist and held her hand on him. "Touch me."

Nessie licked her lips and stared into his eyes as she stroked his length. "You weren't the only idiot, Jake. I was pretty stupid, too."

"I never told you just how much I loved you, baby. I assumed you knew. When you started to slip away from me, I never fought to keep you. I was too afraid of what that would do to my pride." He pinched her nipples and kissed her lips. "I should have been the one to give you a ring."

Tears filled her eyes as he spoke. "I didn't fight for what I wanted. I assumed your silence meant you didn't love me anymore. Instead of talking to you, I just accepted what I thought was true. God, I said so many things I regret."

"Me, too." He pushed her hand away, lifting both her arms above her head. He held her wrists with one hand and positioned his erection with the other. "Tell me you love me."

She swallowed. "I love you."

"Tell me you want me."

She whimpered. "I want you, Jake." She couldn't take the suspense. Her body needed him.

He pushed in harshly, filling her in one thrust. They both gasped. "Fucking hell . . ." He began moving slowly but deliberately, pushing his hips against hers hard enough to make her tits bounce. "Do I make you feel better than that douchebag?"

Not even the reminder of her fiancé could break through her haze of lust. "Yes." She couldn't deny it. She'd discovered a love of rough sex with Jacob, but Tucker refused to act like he was forcing even the smallest movement. She tried to move her arms to touch Jacob. One wrist got free, but he caught it before her fingers made contact with his skin.

"Keep her hands where I put them unless I tell you otherwise." She moaned and pushed it, trying again to touch him. Jacob knew exactly what she was doing and what she wanted. He was done playing nice. He used both hands to grab her wrists tightly and held them where he wanted them. "I said you don't move unless I give you permission." He kissed her lips, catching her whimper in his mouth as he upped the ante. At first, he had been afraid of going too far, but her enthusiasm only encouraged him. "Do you understand me, Ness?"

"Yes, Jake," she managed to whimper. She cried out from a pleasure she hadn't felt in far too long. Her orgasm soon ripped through her, leaving her gasping for air and panting by the time he released inside her. He growled against her neck until he went limp, still holding her hands above her head.

Nessie kissed his cheek. "I love you, Jake."

He smiled and lifted his head enough to kiss her lips. "I love you, too, baby. Please tell me we can give this another shot."

She wanted so badly to say yes. She took a deep breath and looked over at the nightstand. The ring sat there, staring at her as though it could really see her and her betrayal. Her eyes watered as the weight of what just happened finally settled. Jacob sighed and kissed her again.

"Baby, listen to me. If you really, truly love him, and you want to marry him, just tell me. I won't stand in the way of your happiness. But if you want me, I'm here. I just need to know. Don't lead me on. Don't tell me I have a shot if I don't. Please?"

She hated the answer she had to give him. "I don't know yet, Jake." Deep in her heart, she knew who she loved more. Her head had a different point of view. Jacob had hurt her and left her once. What would stop him from doing it again? "I'm scared."

He nodded and moved to her side, making sure she was turned away from the ring. "I know, Nessie. I am, too. But, God, I need you. I need this." He tightened his arms around her. "I don't even know how the fuck I survived five years without you. I love you so much. If you need some time, I'll give it to you. Do you think you could give me an answer in a week?"

Nessie took another deep breath and let it out slowly as she watched her fingers play along his collar bone. "I can try." She met his eyes. "Two weeks?"

Jacob nodded and kissed her lips. "Two weeks. If you pick me, Ness, I'll get you a ring. I just want you to know that. You're not deciding between a husband and a boyfriend; you're deciding which one of us you want to marry. Okay?"

She pushed herself closer and kissed his neck. "I'll keep that in mind." She didn't want to admit how much that tipped the scales. She wanted to make a decision based on logic and clear thinking, not just emotion. "I love you."

He kissed her head. "I love you, too. Do you want me to stay the night?"

She shook her head. "As much as I do, Tucker's going to be here in the morning. He can't know this happened." She looked at him desperately. "Please?"

"My lips are sealed, Ness. I'll go home tonight. Will you call me?" He got up and found his clothes.

She sat up and pulled her knees up to her chest. "Yes. Can I . . . can I call even if I don't have an answer?"

He pulled his pants on and sat down without doing them up. He leaned over and kissed her. "You can call me for any reason at all. Answer or no answer, sex or no sex. It doesn't matter. Just call me."

She smiled and nodded. "Okay."

She walked him to the door. He pulled his hoodie on and kissed her lips one more time before he walked out. She went back to her room and slipped her ring back where it belonged, then curled up her bed and cried herself to sleep.

~*~NOY~*~

Nessie tried to play it cool the next morning. Tucker showed up at nine o'clock, as planned, to take her to breakfast. She was showered, dressed, and ready to go by the time he knocked on the door. She glanced at her ring before she opened the door. It glared at her as if to say it knew what happened. It was a witness to her unfaithfulness. She clenched her fist to shut it up and turned the door handle.

"Hey, Beautiful," Tucker said as he walked in. He kissed her lips. "How was your night?"

Her thoughts immediately went to Jacob. Her night had been one of the best she'd had in years. Instead of saying it, she forced a smile. "It was okay. Boring." _Liar_.

Tucker didn't pick up on her fib. "You could have called me, babe. I had a boring night, too." He kissed her again. "Are you hungry?"

Nessie licked her lips and nodded. "Yes." Her stomach was in knots. Tucker was a great man. How could she have betrayed him? She remembered Jacob's kiss. That was how.

"Let's go, then."

She had a hard time sitting still in the booth at the restaurant. It had been far too long since she'd been with anyone as rough as Jacob, and her body was still a little sore. Tucker asked her a few times if she was okay, but she insisted she was fine. She made up the excuse that she had hit her hip on her dresser and it was still bothering her. Her ring glinted in the light, sending a wave of fresh guilt through her.

Somehow she survived the next few days without giving herself away. Tucker had talked her into letting him stay the night with her four days later. It was the weekend, and they could both sleep in the next morning. His arm was around her shoulders as they sat quietly. She stared at her diamond and wondered what it would take for her to make her decision. Tucker was safe. He wouldn't hurt her or make her cry. The worst he could do was embarrass her by showing off his money. Even that wasn't that bad. She'd be set for life with him.

Not even the year and a half she'd been with him could compare to one night with Jacob, though. He offered passion and excitement, a tumultuous love that was never boring or dull. He might know how to hurt her to her core, but he also knew how to take her to new heights.

The sound of her cell phone cut through the silence and made her jump. Tucker laughed and kissed her head. "Text message for you, love."

She sat up and kissed his cheek before leaning over to pick up the phone. She felt the color drain from her face as she read the message from Jacob.

_I love you, Ness. Just remember that. No matter what happens, I love you._

She cleared her throat and sent a quick message back. _Love you, too. Please don't text again tonight; Tucker's here. I'll call you tomorrow._ After she hit send, she deleted both messages and went back to her fiancé.

"Who was it?" he asked curiously.

"What?" She looked up at him with wide eyes. He couldn't know, could he?

He smiled. "I asked you who it was. Bella?"

Nessie laughed. "Oh . . . Um, no. That was . . . Alice." She knew Bella wouldn't be texting anyone her second night on honeymoon, so she said the first name to come to mind aside from Jacob.

Tucker raised his eyebrow. "Why is Bella's cousin texting you?"

Oh, shit. "Um . . . she just wanted to say hi. I mean, you know . . . we're kind of friends." Dammit, this was bad.

"Okay. Well, I guess tell her hi from me, too. If she texts again."

She breathed a sigh of relief. "I will." She had to get his mind off this before he figured her out. She moved closer and kissed him. "I love you." For the first time, it felt like a lie. She had to get herself back on track. She had an idea and kissed him again.

"I love you, too, Nessie." He kissed her back deeply and pulled her closer so she was nearly on his lap.

"I want to go to my room, Tucker. Us. Both of us." She blushed. She had to get herself under control if she didn't want him to figure out what had happened. "It's not like you're staying the night to sit here, right?"

Tucker laughed. "You know I'm here because I love you. Sex is just a perk." He stood up and held out his hand for her. She took it and wished he could carry her the way Jake had. She pushed that thought away and led him to her room.

"Can we try something new tonight?" she asked. If he wouldn't get rough with her, she wondered if he'd let her call the shots. She'd tried it with Jacob a few times, and she thought she could pull it off.

Tucker smiled deviously and took his shirt off. "Sure, baby. What do you have in mind?"

"Sit down on the bed." She gestured where she wanted him to go. "Well, no . . . lay down. On your back."

He kissed her once and did what she asked. She took her clothes off and took a deep breath before she climbed on top of him. She took his hands and lifted them above his head. His brow furrowed. "What are you doing?"

"I want to fuck you, Tucker. Let me be rough with you." She kissed his lips and ground her hips against his lower stomach.

He sat up, pushing her back. "Nessie, you know I don't like that kind of thing. If you want to try new things, that's fine, but I expect you to treat this relationship with as much respect as I do."

Nessie had known, deep inside, that she wouldn't get away with it. All the same, she felt rejected. Her own fiancé didn't want her like that. She pushed it aside and nodded. "I'm sorry."

"I forgive you, baby. Now, let's _make love_." He emphasized the words, as if to suggest that fucking was completely out of the picture.

It was the first time she had ever felt like sex was tedious. She wanted excitement. She wanted hands that grabbed and pinched and smacked. Instead, she had lackluster movements and hands that merely caressed. She faked her orgasm, something she didn't have to do very often, and laid in his arms feeling completely unsatisfied. He didn't hold her right. It should be tighter. His embrace should make her feel protected and loved, not exposed and fragile.

"Are you okay, Nessie?" he asked a few moments later.

She just nodded. Tears filled her eyes as she was torn apart by a need worse than she'd ever felt to be with Jacob. A lack of the right kind of communication had been the downfall of their relationship. If she could just open up to him and tell him how she truly felt, maybe they could last forever. He would have to do the same, though. Could she really break up a good situation with Tucker for something she wasn't one hundred percent sure of? If he didn't do what he promised, they'd only fall apart again. There was no doubt in her mind that it would hurt worse the second time around. She wasn't sure if that potential heartache was worth it.

She leaned up and kissed him. "I'll be right back. I need to run to the bathroom."

Tucker nodded. "Hurry back to me."

She just smiled and got out of bed. She went naked through the house and grabbed her phone on the way. She glanced behind her to make sure Tucker wasn't able to see her, then she slipped into the bathroom and shut and locked the door. She climbed into the bathtub and sat with her knees against her chest as she quickly typed a text.

_Hiding in the bathroom. God, Jacob, I am so confused. Are you really, really sure you want me?_ She hit send and sniffled. She made sure the sound was off and just waited. Her stomach bottomed out when the phone vibrated.

_Why the fuck are you hiding? If the dickhead hurt you, I'll rip his balls out through his throat._

She couldn't help but smile. _No, he didn't hurt me. He's in bed. I'm being sneaky so he doesn't know I'm texting you. Please answer my question._ She leaned her head down and rested her forehead against her knees as she waited again.

_Okay. Yes, I'm sure._

More tears fell down her cheeks. She was even more confused. She wanted a full-blown confession of love. She wanted him to get on his knees and beg her to come back to him just to prove he was done hiding from her. While she knew he couldn't do that over a text, his simple answer hurt.

_How sure?_

_What do you want me to say? I really fucking want you, Ness._

"Are you okay, Nessie?" Tucker asked. Nessie's heart was in her throat as he tried to open the door. It didn't open, and she breathed a sigh of relief at her foresight to lock it.

"I'm okay. I'll be out in a minute."

_I need to go. Please don't text back. I love you._ She got out of the tub and made sure she made enough noise like she was finishing. She even flushed the toilet. She deleted all of the text messages, washed her hands and her face, then walked out to Tucker.

"You worried me, babe," he said as he kissed her. "Everything okay?"

She gave her best smile. "I'm fine. I'm sorry I worried you. Let's go back to bed." She was both exhausted and wired at the same time. She set the phone on the coffee table as they walked through the living room.

Tucker smiled. "Do you often take your phone to the bathroom with you?"

Nessie froze. "What?" She had to think of something fast. "Oh, that . . . um, yeah, I play the games sometimes."

He just laughed. "You have been acting very strange the last few days, Nessie. Are you sure everything is okay?"

She wanted to laugh it off, but she was caught by an unexpected rush of emotion. She refused to hurt him by confessing her guilt, but she couldn't hide her confusion any longer. "I don't know." She shrugged and sat down on the couch. She covered her face with her hands as her hair fell forward. "I just don't know."

He sat down next to her and rubbed her back gently. "You can talk to me, Nessie. I promise I'll listen to whatever you have to say."

They were both silent for a while as she cried into her palms. She didn't deserve his comfort and understanding. She finally sat up and wiped her face. "Can I ask you something?" She looked into his blue eyes, so soft and concerned, and waited for an answer.

"Of course, Nessie. You know you can always ask me anything." He wiped under her eyes, bright green and sparkling from her tears.

"Have you ever wondered if the choices you make are the right ones? If maybe you were settling for something easy just so you didn't get hurt when in reality the less stable option was better?"

He furrowed his brow. "I'm not sure I really understand what you mean, baby. I know the easiest course isn't always the best one, though. Sometimes it's nice to shake things up every now and then. Are you talking about our lovemaking?"

Her heart broke as she shook her head. "No. I love you, Tucker. You know that, right?"

He brushed her long, red hair back behind her shoulder. "Yes, I know that. I love you, too."

"Have you ever wondered if we are the best option for each other?"

There was a moment of silence. He sat back, his eyes showing his offence. "No, I haven't. I know we're right for each other. What exactly are you saying?"

Nessie took a deep breath and sniffled. "I'm saying I'm having doubts." She really prayed this conversation didn't backfire on her.

"Is it something I've done?" He sounded lost and hurt.

She closed her eyes and shook her head. "No. It's hard to explain. I just . . . I feel like—"

"Is it your ex?" he asked suddenly, cutting her off. She opened her eyes to see him staring at her with a stony expression. He'd figured her out.

She wanted to deny it, but she couldn't. Hiding the way she'd betrayed him was one thing; lying to him outright like this was something different. "Yes." It was barely a whisper.

"What, you want to go back to him? You want to sacrifice everything we've built together for what? A trip down memory lane?"

As much as she deserved his anger, it didn't hurt as much as she wanted it to. It should rip her in half to hurt him like this. "I'm sorry. I love you, baby, I really do. I'm just so confused."

"Confused about what? The man left and hurt you. You need to figure what the hell you want, Nessie. I thought what we had was pretty damn good." He stood up and walked away to the bedroom.

She stood up a moment later and ran her fingers through her hair before she followed him. She was surprised to find him dressed and sitting on the side of the bed as he put his shoes on. "What are you doing?"

"I'm going home. You obviously need some time to figure things out." He got up again and took his watch from the nightstand. "If you want someone who really loves you, you know where to find me. If not, I want that ring back." He gestured to her left hand as he walked up to her. He kissed her forehead and continued out the door. She didn't follow him. She looked down at the diamond that seemed to laugh at her. She wasn't sure why she expected anything different. Tucker didn't like competition unless he was the winner.

She climbed into bed and slipped the ring off her finger to look at it. She found herself wondering what a ring from Jacob would look like. It certainly wouldn't be gaudy like Tucker's. It would be simple. He would undoubtedly be okay with a small ceremony as well. She rolled over and set the ring on the nightstand then looked at her bare finger.

"I love you, Jacob," she whispered to herself. "I really pray you love me back the way you say you do." She grabbed her pillow and made a decision. She would call Jacob and really talk to him. They would figure this out together. If he was as invested as she hoped he was, she would give the ring back to Tucker.

~*~NOY~*~

"Hey, Jake. It's Nessie. Um . . . I guess I'm wondering what you're doing today. I'd like to see you. Call me." She ended the call and hoped to hear back from him soon. She took a deep breath and set the phone down on the coffee table. It was after noon. She'd spent the entire morning working up the courage to call him. It was Sunday, and she knew he didn't work that day. Her future depended on this conversation, and she found herself terrified of the outcome.

Twenty minutes passed with no call. She stayed on the couch, staring at the phone and willing it to do anything. Even a text message from him would make her happy. Little by little, her stomach tied itself in knots and her heart began to crumble. She should have known it was too good to be true. Why on earth would she be granted the kind of happiness she wanted?

A knock on the door interrupted her self-hatred. She got up, not caring who saw her tears, and threw the door open. She wasn't even sure what to think when she saw Jacob standing there with a smile on his lips.

"Hey, Ness . . . What's wrong?"

She stepped back and gestured for him to come inside. Once the door was shut, she locked it and pushed herself against him. His arms encircled her, pulling her in tighter and protecting her the way she craved. "I was waiting for you to call me back."

He kissed her head. "I was in the area and figured it would be better to talk to you in person. Are you okay?"

She nodded. "I am now." She squeezed her arms around his waist for a few second before she pulled back. "I'm an emotional wreck right now. I'm sorry."

He shook his head and wiped her eyes. "Don't be. Let's go sit down. Did something happen, or are you just being a woman?"

Nessie smirked and sat down as close to him as she could. "I told Tucker. I mean, about how I wasn't sure if I was really sure about our engagement. He figured out it was because of you and got upset. He left last night and said he wanted the ring back if I didn't want him."

Jacob raised an eyebrow. "Do you want that ring?" He could probably figure out how to make sure she could keep it if it meant that much to her.

"No, not really. I mean, it's pretty, but it's too big. I feel like I'm a beacon for muggers every time I walk out the door." She shook her head and leaned in to nuzzle against his shoulder. "I missed you." She felt so much better with him beside her. Her heart wasn't struggling to keep beating anymore; it was whole again.

He lifted her chin and kissed her lips. "I missed you, too, baby. Four whole days without you is way too fucking long."

She smiled. "I agree. Jake, I need to ask you something serious."

He nodded and kissed her one more time. "Okay. Shoot."

She pulled back and ran both her hands through her hair, stalling for courage. "When you were here before . . . you know, that night . . . you said that you had kept the way you really felt for me hidden. Was that really what happened?"

Jacob leaned forward and sighed. "Yeah. I was stupid, babe. I knew how much I loved you, and I assumed you knew it, too. I stopped saying it because, again, I was stupid. When I started thinking about asking you to marry me, you started to get distant. You stopped talking to me as much, spending more nights without me, and just . . . you started to withdraw. I was scared. I was too prideful to open up and risk getting stomped on. So I held it all in and waited for you to snap out of it." He shook his head and looked over at her. "I wish I'd been smarter."

Nessie reached out and took his hand. "You weren't the only one who made mistakes, Jake. I withdrew because I thought you didn't love me anymore. I was trying to protect myself, but I only ended up hurting us both. I know we both said things we didn't mean. I'm willing to make it right, though. I'm willing to promise that I won't hold my love back from you again. I want it out in the open and free like it should be. But I need to know that you'll do the same thing. I can't . . . I can't do this if you won't."

He smiled and leaned in to kiss her lips. "I promise. My heart is yours, Ness. It always has been, and it always will be." He got down on his knees in front of her and held her hands. "I don't have a ring, babe, but I'm asking you to marry me instead of the other asshole. Let me make you happy the way we were before we fucked up. I'm not saying we won't ever fight or I won't ever hurt you again, but I swear to God I will never leave you. I'll always do my best to make it right."

She took a deep breath and squeezed his fingers. "Jacob, I love you. I choose you, but I'm not going to agree to marry you yet. Hear me out, please. It's been five years. I think we need to learn how to be together as a couple again before we do that. Let's give it at least a few months, okay?"

He quirked his lips. "Okay, but I'm still getting you a ring. You will marry me eventually, right?"

She smiled. "Of course." Everything felt so right. She kissed him and stood up, pulling on his hands to get him to stand as well. "What all do you have planned for today?" she asked as she looked up at him through her lashes.

"I'm afraid my day is full, Ness. My schedule is packed with this." He held her hips tighter and pulled her into him. "I love you."

Her temporary disappointment faded as she realized what he was saying. She stood on her toes and kissed him. "I want you."

"Whatever do you mean?" He had been the aggressor before; he wanted her to show him exactly what she wanted this time.

Nessie rolled her eyes and took his hand. "Follow me." She led him to her room and shut the door behind them. "Undress me."

Jacob took his time removing her clothes, paying extra attention to her body the way he felt he should have the time before. He kissed each new patch of skin that was exposed to him until she stood before him in only her panties. He smirked as he got on his knees and kissed her just below her belly button. "Anything special you'd like me to do here?"

She couldn't fight a giggle as she ran her fingers through his thick hair. "Lick me." He gave her a grin and licked her skin above the waist line. Her body shivered. "You know that's not what I meant."

"I need specifics, Ness. Tell me what you want." His fingers gripped her hips as he waited for instruction. He didn't want to guess; he wanted to know that she got the satisfaction she deserved.

Dirty talk was all but nonexistent in her relationship with Tucker. She'd gotten out of the habit and found she was actually nervous to say it again. With Jacob's eyes staring at her, though, she knew what to say. "I want you to eat my pussy, Jake. Lick my clit and make me cum while I stand in front of you."

"That's my girl. Come here." He slid the panties down her long legs, then had her part them enough to do what she'd asked. He held her hips steady while she gripped his hair and let herself be taken over by the sensations he created in her. She nearly fell over as her orgasm rocked through her, but he managed to catch her. He kissed her stomach and stood up. "You still taste just as sweet."

She held his arms and laid her head against his chest. "Oh, my God. You're still just as good."

He chuckled and took her to the bed. "How do you want me, Ness?"

Her desire for control had been satisfied, and now she just wanted to feel. She laid down and beckoned for him to do the same. He stripped off his clothes and got in beside her. "I just want you to show me how much you love me."

He nodded and kissed her lips. "I can do that." He kissed her again, deepening it as he rolled her onto her back and situated himself over her. He made love to her the way only he could, eliciting cries of passion and desire. His release hit shortly after hers, and he remained inside her as he softened.

"I love you, Jacob," Nessie panted.

"I love you, too, baby. I'll never stop saying it." He pulled out and moved to her side to hold her. "How are you?"

She snuggled into his embrace and sighed contentedly as his arms gave her what she needed. "So good. Safe and happy."

Jacob kissed her forehead. "I'm glad, baby. I feel the same way."

She looked up at him. "Safe?"

He smirked. "Yes. Why? Is it weird that you make me feel safe?"

She shrugged. "I don't know. I guess I just assumed that since you're so big and strong, you always feel that way."

"Not always. When I'm with you, though, I feel like I can do anything. That's what makes me safe, I guess. I can be your protector the way a man should be."

"Speaking of protector . . . Would you be with me when I give Tucker back his ring? I just don't want to do it alone."

"Yes, I'll be there. Do you think he'd do something?" His arms tightened around her at the thought of anyone trying to harm her.

She shook her head. "No. He's really harmless, Jake; I just want you with me. Moral support, I guess."

"Okay. You can't blame me for anything that gets said between us, though. If he starts something, I'm not going to back down."

Nessie pursed her lips. "Maybe it would be better if you weren't there." She couldn't see Tucker starting any fist fights, but he wouldn't give up without at least a few scathing remarks. "I'll be okay."

Jacob took a deep breath. "I'll go if you want me to, baby."

She met his eyes and brought her hand up to touch his cheek. "I know you would. I want as little heartache all the way around, though. I know it would just hurt his pride to see the man he lost me to there when I give him back his enormous diamond."

He kissed her lips. "Okay. When do you want to do that?"

She turned to look at her clock. It was late in the afternoon, but still early enough to do it that day. "Tonight, I think. I don't want to drag it out for anyone, and I know you and I will both feel better when it's taken care of."

He nodded. "I agree."

"I want to snuggle a little longer, though. I'll call him in an hour, okay?"

"Fine with me." He kissed her one more time and held her tighter. He closed his eyes and smiled to himself. He had to remember to get some kind of thank you card or something for Alice for making him go to the wedding. Without her annoying little ass, he wouldn't have his life back.

~*~NOY~*~

Tucker had been busy Sunday night, so they made plans to meet the next morning at a local park. Jacob stayed the night with her and went to work from her place. She wasn't sure she was really ready when the time came to leave and meet her ex-fiancé.

He was standing by a tree when she pulled up. She took a deep breath and stole a moment of hesitation before she forced herself out of the car.

"Hi," she said awkwardly.

"Hey. Have you reached a verdict?"

Nessie had figured he'd want to get right down to business. "Yeah. As much as I love you, Tucker, I love him more. I'm sorry." She looked down, unable to bear the pain in his eyes. "I really am. I never wanted to hurt you." Standing before him like this hurt worse than she had thought it was going to. It still didn't hurt as badly as missing Jake had.

Tucker nodded. "I'm sure you didn't, Nessie. Do you have my ring?"

She sighed and pulled it out of her pocket and handed it to him. "I'm sure you'll find someone who deserves that more than I did."

He smirked. "Yeah, probably. There's always something better out there, isn't there?" He opened the box long enough to make sure the diamond was there and put it in his pocket. "I guess this is farewell, then?"

"Yeah, I guess. Good luck, Tucker. I really do wish you well."

He looked down at his feet for a moment before he stepped forward and pulled her into a hug. "Me, too, Nessie. Just be happy, okay?"

She smiled and kissed his cheek. "You, too."

He nodded and took a step back. "Bye."

She raised her hand in an awkward wave as he turned and walked away. She pulled her phone out of her pocket to call Jacob as she walked to her car. She'd promised she would let him know how everything went.

"Do you feel better, Ness?" Jake asked as she buckled her seatbelt.

She sucked in a deep breath and let it out slowly. "Yes, I do. It still hurts, Jake. I do care for him, and I hate to see him hurt. Please tell me you understand."

He chuckled. "I can't say I know what you mean; I've never been there. But I do know that you didn't want to hurt him. He'll get over it, though, and maybe someday down the line you guys can be friends. Who knows, right?"

She started the car. "Yeah, you're right. I'm gonna go, Jake, but I'll see you tonight."

"You got it, babe. I'll be there as soon as I'm finished here. I love you."

"Love you, too."

She ended the call and wiped her eyes before she put the car in gear and went home.

_**~*~Four months later~*~**_

Nessie laughed as Jacob grabbed her from behind, pulling her against him as she tried to unlock the door. "Jake! Don't you want to get inside first?"

He kissed her cheek. "I could take you out here."

She gasped and turned to look into his eyes. "You most certainly could not. Let's at least get inside the house."

He sighed, but didn't let her go. "Fine. Did you have a good time tonight, Ness?"

She finally got the key to turn and they both stepped inside. He still held her as she shut and locked the door behind them. "Yes, I did. Do you plan on keeping me like this all night?"

He chuckled and moved his hips against her backside. "Maybe."

"That would work better if we took our clothes off first. And before that, I need to call Bella. Sorry, baby, you're just going to have to wait."

"Why do you have to call her again? We just came from their house."

"Because she asked me to call her when we got home so she could gush some more about the baby. She's excited, Jake, just as she should be. Just give her a few weeks and this will calm down. In the meantime, I'm going to humor her because I'm just as happy as she is."

Jacob groaned in defeat and released her. "All right. But after you call her, I get you in the bedroom for the rest of the night. And you're not sleeping until I'm done with you." It had been a long week of work for him and school for Nessie. They were both so tired at the end of the day that they ate dinner together and went right to bed—without sex.

Nessie got her phone out and smiled back at Jacob. "Yes, Master." He chuckled and kissed her head before leaving the room. The line rang twice before her enthusiastic sister-in-law answered. They talked for a little while before Nessie was free. She put her phone on the coffee table and made her way to her bedroom. She smiled to herself when she saw Jake lying on his back on the bed wearing only his boxers. His eyes were closed, and she leaned against the doorframe to just watch him for a few minutes.

The last four months had been a little rough, but they helped each other through. Things had been rocky between Eddie and Nessie when he and Bella returned from their honeymoon to the news of what Nessie had done. Eddie only remembered Jacob as the man who had ripped his sister's heart out and put it through a meat grinder. He couldn't understand why Nessie would break up a perfect engagement for that. It took time and a few girls' nights out with Bella to get them to understand her choice.

Jacob had all but moved in with Nessie two months prior. It felt so right with him. He still had his old place, but he only kept the bare essentials there for a place to go if he needed to get away or if she needed space. They both agreed that was the better choice rather than put any extra strain on their growing relationship. She wore her engagement ring every single day and loved the simple gold band with one normal sized diamond planted on top. They hadn't set an exact date for the wedding, but they had both decided it would happen sometime after the New Year. She had started taking classes again after he moved in with her. She kept her job, but her hours had been reduced. She considered them pathetically part time, but it was enough to make her feel like she wasn't pinning all of the bills on Jacob.

A week before, Bella had called Nessie in a frenzy. She hadn't started her cycle on schedule and was an excited mix of terrified and hopeful as she asked Nessie to accompany her when she took a pregnancy test. It came out positive, and they spent their time together planning the dinner they'd had that night to reveal the news to the rest of the family and celebrate.

Jacob yawned and stretched, then opened his eyes to see Nessie standing by the door. He smiled and reached out his hand to her. "Been there long?"

She went to him and took his hand. "Only a few hours."

He snorted. "Yeah, right. How's Bella?" He pulled her down with him and wrapped his arms around her.

"She's fine." She snuggled into his chest and took a deep breath. "I've missed this."

"I hold you every night." He looked down at her and kissed her head. "Or do you mean you miss this when we're not both passing out."

She smiled and nodded. "Yeah. I love you."

"I love you, too. We have a problem, though." He frowned and pulled back.

"What is it?"

He sighed and shook his head. "Well, I'm laying here in my underwear, and you're still completely dressed. How did this happen and why aren't you naked yet?"

Nessie laughed and leaned in to kiss him. "Such a travesty surely can't go unpunished."

He smiled deviously and pushed himself up to grab her and pin her under him. "You want me to punish you?"

"I want you do what you promised earlier. Something about not letting me sleep until you were done? Or was that an empty threat?"

Jacob raised an eyebrow. "You're trying to provoke me, aren't you?" He kissed her and leaned back just enough to pop the button her jeans.

"That depends. Is it working?" She desperately needed him to claim her.

"Keep it up, Ness. See what happens."

She loved the dominance in his eyes. "Ooh, that actually sounded like you meant it." The thrill of pushing him swelled in her chest and forced her smile to grow wider.

Jacob growled against her throat, but otherwise didn't respond verbally. Instead, he focused on making her eat those words. He knew what she was doing, and he loved it. Some days it was him in command, and other days it was her. Sometimes there was no need for dominance and they just needed to let their love manifest itself physically, with our without sex. There were nights when they just needed to be together and share simple touches, soft kisses, and whispered words of devotion.

Neither of them knew exactly what would happen in the future, but they did know that they had what they needed. They didn't let each other regret the past. It was gone, and they had both learned from their mistakes. All they needed to do now was make the best of the future they had together.

* * *

><p>AN: Thank you for reading!

A few quick notes: The company Jake works for is based on LAR, a gun manufacturer that my dad works for. The Big Bear that Jake talks about is the Grizzly Big Boar. Kick-ass sniper rifle that I highly recommend anyone interested in guns check out.

The musical inspiration for this story is "Rolling in the Deep" and "Someone Like You" by Adele, "For the First Time" by The Script, and "Only Girl (In the World)" by Rihanna.


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